Kujaku Confessions
by Chaos Valkyrie
Summary: Welcome to Kujaku Confessions, the Sordid and Shameless Secrets of one Female Duelist, Mai Valentine! Follow along with her as she reveals the often disturbing underworld that is Duel Monsters...
1. On the Outside Looking In

**Kujaku Confessions  
****Author:** Chaos Valkyrie  
**First Conceptualized:** December 2004  
**Posted Chapter 01:** March 12, 2005  
**Updated:** December 22, 2005

**Disclaimer:** How often do I really need to say this? If I was Takahashi, don't you think I'd be cashing in on this idea already?

**Author's Note:** Yup, it's me. Yup, it's a new story. Nope, I haven't finished some of the others. I'm a bad bad authoress… Anywho, this story was mainly inspired by Mai's duel with Joey in the Doom Arc. However, I set this after Battle City, and it'll have little to do with the Doom Arc, simply because I haven't really gotten to see any of it yet. Meh, stupid work.

* * *

**Chapter One: On the Outside Looking In**

The male members of the dueling gang – Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Ryou and Duke – were gathered around an outdoor café table on a bright, sunny spring day. And while some members of the group were content with their enormous platefuls of food, one rather small duelist was concerned.

"Where is Téa?" Yugi wondered aloud. "She's not usually this late." His eyebrows creased, remembering their recent rash of trouble with the Rare Hunters.

Tristan shrugged, still intent on his lunch.

Joey gulped down another large bite of his cheeseburger. "I'm sure she's fine, Yug."

Just then, naturally, Téa appeared.

"Who's died?" asked Joey, his mouth full of food once again. The others paused eating while they too absorbed the nervous look on her face.

"Well…" Téa began hesitantly. "Actually, _you_, Joey."

Joey spat out his mouthful of burger, ignoring Tristan and Duke's chorus of 'GROSS!' "What!" He patted his chest with his hands jokingly. "I don't think I'm a ghost!"

Téa snorted and smacked a paper down on the table. Yugi looked at the title and frowned. "The Domino Inquirer?"

Duke shook his head. "You read that trash?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Its not funny. I picked it up because they claimed to have an 'exclusive' article on dueling." Téa picked the paper back up and opened it to the second page. "Its actually a new column, 'Kujaku Confessions: The Sordid and Shameless Secrets of a Female Duelist'," Tea read aloud.

Tristan grinned. "'Sordid', eh? Read it aloud, then!"

Téa coughed. "Well, her first article is titled, 'Of Mutts and Men: A Look at the Duel Monsters Competition.'"

Joey bristled while Duke tried (in vain) to hide a smirk by taking a large bite of his sandwich. It didn't work.

"Ow!" Duke complained, rubbing the back of his head from where Joey had smacked it. The two glared daggers at each other until Téa cleared her throat for attention.

"Do you want me to read this or not?" she asked, her impatience starting to flair. The group nodded, and Téa cleared her throat one last time.

"'Of Mutts and Men: A Look at the Duel Monsters Competition.'" Téa paused, folding the paper into a small square to make it easier to read.

"'Unless you've been living under a rock, you should be aware of Duel Monsters, the gaming phenomenon that took the world by storm six years ago. Much like chess, this game with questionable ancient origins requires skill, intelligence, and finesse. As this writer and duelist has also discovered, each player also needs something more: whether it be faith, power, or pure dumb luck. With that in mind, let's look at a few of the major competitors in this ever growing and changing sport.'

"'We must begin with Yugi Mutou, the top-ranked duelist in the world. Don't let his dwarfish size or punk hairdo fool you: he has trounced former national and world champions with ease, even defeating the game's creator, Maximillion Pegasus. Whether you find his talk of 'The Heart of the Cards' endearing or foolish, his absolute faith in his deck has pulled him out of every jam the game has thrown at him.'"

"Well, that wasn't too bad so far," Tristan said, looking at Yugi, whose face was beet red.

"Dwarfish!" Yugi muttered as Joey hushed the two, gesturing for Téa to continue.

"'However, when one wants power, one needs go no further than the mighty Blue Eyes White Dragon and its owner, Seto Kaiba. The CEO and former world champion (and one of Mutou's victims) will burn out any duelist's deck with the pure unadulterated power of his cards, or the force of his mighty ego. When he is not busy running his multinational company Kaiba Corp, he can often be found exhibiting his poor fashion taste and hunting down Mutou, seeking to salve his pride, but ultimately gaining yet another defeat.'"

All the boys snickered for a few minutes before Téa was able to continue.

"'Speaking of tagalongs, last but unfortunately not least is Joey Wheeler, the sidekick, strong arm, and best friend of the mighty Mutou. Nicknamed 'Mutt' by the aforementioned Kaiba, this duelist's prowess on the battlefield is usually aided by his sheer dumb luck. Able to pull a victory from the most unlikely places, this writer wonders how he has had the nerve to last in this pastime as long as he has. He too can be found trailing Mutou and Kaiba like a lost puppy, pushing one or the other for a rawhide/duel, as they are the only two duelists to whom he has consistently lost.'

"'Three duelists, three outlooks, one obsession – the urge to be the best. Many hopefuls, following the lead of these competitors, are rising from the ranks, all wishing to rise to the top of the dueling world. Some have what it takes – the drive, the determination, the cutthroat tactics necessary to be the best. Many do not. This reporter will attempt to follow these duelists and others to give you an inside look at the often mysterious world that is Duel Monsters, and the often sordid secrets it contains.'"

The group sat in silence for a moment as they digested the article's words. They exploded all at once.

"Trailing like a puppy!" Joey screeched while Duke cried, he was laughing so hard.

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," he gasped, wiping his eyes. Tristan smirked, clapping Joey on the shoulder.

"Come on, Joey, no one reads that rag anyway. It'll all be forgotten soon," Yugi reasoned. Joey remained unconvinced as the group continued to debate the article.

* * *

From a table nearby, hidden behind a large outdoor planter, Mai Valentine smirked as she scribbled on her notepad. 

'Article Two: Puppy Goes Rabid,' she scratched down, a smirk playing on her well defined lips.

**

* * *

End Notes:** HAHAHAHAHA! I had fun writing that, though I didn't make some of the points I wanted to. But that's what the future chapters are for, ne? In case you're wondering, Kujaku Mai is Mai's name in the Japanese version of YGO. Hence, I made it her penname here. Anywho, this will be a lighthearted fic like Duelist Café. So far, I have no ideas for romantic pairings here… in the future, who knows? 


	2. Bookends

**Kujaku Confessions  
****Author:** Chaos Valkyrie  
**First Conceptualized:** December 2004  
**Posted Chapter 02:** December 24, 2005

**Disclaimer:** Do you think Mai would play a bit part if I were writing Yu-Gi-Oh? Shame on you.

**Generic Author's Notes:  
****1.** Due to new ffnet standards, all chapters have been updated, most with some minor edits. I'll answer/re-answer reviews between now and next posting in the new area.  
**2.** I have decided on a new update policy. Now that my life is getting back together, I will now post once-a-month on whatever Friday happens to lie between the 15th and 21st. I can't promise an update on every story, but I can promise that if it doesn't post one month, it WILL post the next. This also means that some months, you'll get bonus chapters on some stories.  
**3.** Web page will be up soon with stories that can't be posted here – namely "The Villain's Guide to Evil Stuff" and songfics, etc. I put off the launch to get all this stuff out.  
**4.** By the way, if anyone has Chapter One of "The Chaos Land Tournament" or Lesson 10 of "The Villain's Guide", please let me know. My copies got deleted, and those are the only two I didn't have backed up. You will be rewarded! So please, go to my Author Page for more details…  
Thank you for your continued patience, and Happy Holidays!

* * *

**Chapter Two: Bookends**

"No one reads that rag, huh, Yug?" Joey grimaced, looking over at Yugi, who had the grace to look sheepish. It was the day after Téa had read the article aloud to her friends at the café, and Domino High was back in session.

And everywhere they looked, someone had a copy of the Domino Inquirer. Reading it, laughing at it, showing it to friends… apparently, the paper's popularity had soared overnight. And then someone noticed Yugi and Joey entering the campus.

"Hey, it's the punk dwarf!" someone called out.

"Where's Snow White?" another voice catcalled. Yugi turned red and hung his head in embarrassment. Joey patted him on the back.

"Hey Yug, at least that's not as bad as what's comin' for me…" he trailed off as someone yelled out,

"Hey, it's the puppy dog!"

"Mutt!"

"Yugi, shouldn't you have him on a leash?"

"Hey Wheeler, I got you a chew toy!"

"See," Joey asked, resigned. Yugi smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry, Joey. I guess we should just grin and bear it," Yugi pondered out loud. "But I'm surprised at how well you're taking it, Joey."

They had reached their lockers, and Joey grinned at the sight before them. "Yeah, I just want to prove that I can take it better than Moneybags there."

Yugi turned to notice Kaiba was more icy than usual. Especially seeing as he had some poor, terrified underclassman pinned against a locker as he snarled at him.

"What did you call me? Bubblehead, I believe it was?" Kaiba glared at the poor kid, who sweatdropped as he stammered for an excuse.

"Hey, Kaiba, let the poor kid down," Wheeler called as he changed his shoes. Yugi shook his head as Kaiba switched his glare to Joey.

"This doesn't concern you," he smirked, "Mutt."

"Oh yeah, that hurts," Joey clutched his heart in imaginary pain, then rolled his eyes. "The least Kujaku could've done was be original. Like she was with you…" Joey grinned as he looked Kaiba up and down. "At least the school uniform matches."

Kaiba bristled, letting the smaller student go. The kid wisely vanished as Seto walked up to a smirking Joey.

"Say that again?" Kaiba asked threateningly.

"Why, didn't hear it the first time?" Joey mocked. A voice cleared its throat behind them.

"Boys, as much as I love before-school fights, I think you should get to your homerooms. The warning bell is about to ring." Their teacher, Mr. Himura, smiled benignly at them as he waited for the two boys to back away from each other. The bell rang once overhead.

"Or let me put it this way – you suck up your 'mighty ego'," Kaiba glared at the smiling teacher, "and you put your leash back on," Joey sighed, resigned, "and get to class. _Now_." The normally mild-mannered teacher was eyeing them both sternly, and they hastened to obey.

Joey grinned and winked at Yugi as they heard Kaiba muttering to himself as he stalked ahead of them to homeroom.

"I'll get this Kujaku if it's the last thing I do," he gritted.

* * *

Celia Davenport sauntered down the street, smirking over the newspaper clipping in her hand and ignoring the catcalls and appreciative looks given her by passing men. She turned as she reached the building that housed the Domino Inquirer – a modest building, easy to overlook. The newspaper, however, was starting to acquire the attention it deserved.

She walked in, calling out a greeting to several of her reporters who were lounging around the lobby. She lightly walked up the stairs, pushing the door open to the editor's outer office – _her_ outer office.

"Ms. Davenport, your nine o'clock is waiting," her secretary smiled at her, handing her a sheaf of papers, bills, and other mail. She accepted the bundle, her eyes twinkling. She glanced at the clock as she pushed the door open.

"Mai, you're early today! I'm surprised you had time to fix your hair," Celia smirked as the slightly shorter but bustier blond rose to her feet.

"Celia, I'm surprised at you! You know I always make time to be with you," Mai retorted, batting her eyelashes. Celia laughed.

"You haven't changed since high school." She waved at Mai to sit back down as she took off her coat and hung it next to the door.

"Oh, I beg to differ," Mai smirked, glancing down significantly.

"Well, growth spurts aside," Celia smiled, taking her own seat. "The paper has sold out all over the city thanks to your article," Celia tossed the clipping on the desk before her. "We're already planning to increase our run for next weekend!"

Mai smirked. "I'll bet somewhere a certain CEO is having a hissy fit," she grinned.

"Well, I'm just happy that I took a chance on an old friend," Celia replied. "So, have you had any ideas for your next article?"

Mai slid a few sheets of paper across the table to her old friend and new editor. "I made a list of different ideas – I can't just taunt other duelists every article, it would get old after a while. So, I thought I'd switch tactics, rotate through different ideas, like popular strategies, cards, decks. Go over tournament reports, duelist records, things like that," she replied, casually examining a nail. Celia grinned.

"Well, you seem to have everything in order. I'll expect your next article on my desk by Friday." She handed the papers back to Mai. "Are you sure you don't want to put your real name on the byline?"

Mai snorted. "Oh yes, so the lovely Mr. Kaiba can sue me all the much easier? I think not," she replied. "In fact, I think I'll avoid coming in here too much to avoid suspicion. Meet me for lunch Friday? I'll have the article then," she offered, and Celia nodded in agreement.

"I'll see you then, Kujaku." Celia winked at her long time friend as she reached for the door.

"Ciao, Ceelie." Mai laughed as she caught Celia's grimace at the old nickname. She turned as left the office, heading for the lobby. She didn't want to be late for her next appointment by any means.

* * *

**End Notes:** Well, short and to the point. I figured I'd make Joey a little calmer, since I'm sure he's used to the whole "mutt" thing now… that and he probably beat up on Duke enough the day before to get it out of his system. And I think Kaiba could take the taunts for awhile, but he's much more uptight than the others, so I think he'd snap sooner too. Lessee, Celia is an OC, so don't go looking for her in the mangas anytime soon. And lastly, I decided I'd put in an article about every two chapters… I think it'd get old if I tried to do one for every chapter. 


End file.
